
What is on my mind you ask? Alot you could say. It seems that when every time it rains it pours. On January 26, 2007, I lost my job at the law firm I was working at. At first the thought of not working was appealing to me. Sleeping in. Going to sleep late. An excuse to be on a semi-permanent vacation. Reality set in when I came back from my daydream. I had a husband, a 1 1/2 year old son and I was almost 3 months pregnant with our second child, and I had no job. After discussing it with my husband we decided that I would stay home until our second child was born. During the rest of my pregnancy I decided to go to school to obtain my Legal Secretary Degree in hopes that when I returned it would help me find a better job. Times were hard and with only one income things were tight beyond belief. Before we knew it our second child was born, another son. We were greatful cause at least we already had baby clothes from our first son, so that wasn't so bad. But we still had diapers, wipes, and milk to buy. We managed to survive with the help of family and friends. Overtime it seemed like no money was comming in eventhough my husband was still bringing home the same paycheck. We were happy when we we had just $5 so we could rent a movie. The days of going out to dinner, movies or just doing what we wanted were over, not because we had two small children but because there was no money. Anytime a paycheck came in, it was always spent. Eventually I decided to try and get back into the job market but by that time I had already been out or work for almost a year. I put in application after application and sent in resume after resume. No call backs no interviews, nothing. I began to wonder what was wrong. Was I expecting too much, was I overqualified. Still I kept on being persistant. It finally paid off in April of 2008. I finally got a job that didn't REQUIRE me to be bilingual, or so I was told. It was a part time job but hey at least I would be bringing in some money. After only working one day I received a call stating that things were not going to work out because they wanted someone who was bilingual. As you can guess, I was extremely hurt and upset because I was very qualified for the position and I explicitly asked if I needed to be bilingual and I was told that would not be a problem. Obviously Not!!! So since that time I have continued to submit in applications and wait for interviews but nothing. That is why I am back in school, hoping that my degree will get me a job when I graduate. But with the way the economy is going I do not see that happening. I try to keep an open mind and a positive attitude but for some reason it does not end up that way. I end up feeling sorry for myself and feeling depressed because I can't help support my family. I realize that taking care of two children is a hard and laborious job and it doesn't pay well. LOL!!! But I know the rewards are great. I know that I should be enjoying this time I have with my two kids because I won't get this time back. But again a part of me says that contributing financially to our family is just as important as taking care of the precious gifts GOD gave us. I know in due time I will find a job, maybe its like this so I can find the job I love. Maybe this is a test from GOD to see what me and my husband are made of and to see how we deal with it. For now I thank GOD that I have my health, my loving husband, my family, and my two beautiful boys.
